I hate forwards for a couple of reasons.
First, as I’ve said before, I’m extremely lazy. If I open an email that is more than a paragraph long, chances are I won’t get past the first couple of lines before I’m scrolling to the end to see exactly what the point is. So, you can imagine the eye rolling and groaning that go on when I see that dreaded FW. I immediately slump my shoulders, grab a cup of coffee, wrap myself up in my Wisconsin Badger snuggie and hunker down for the long read.
Secondly, you read that right. I have to read the blackhole waste of time bullshit message even though I’m 100% sure that it will have something to do with:
- The sister of a friend of someone your aunt works with getting pulled over by an undercover cop who *gasp* is really a rapist (I’m pretty sure this was an episode of Cold Case).
- Something about someone loving me so much that they had to include me in a group of 50 people they hope is having a good day (I was until I got your email).
- Some animated walking stick figure that has already traveled around the world 500 times and needs to be forwarded in order to continue (Your trip ends here, loser).
- Animals Photo Shopped in people clothes with sayings like “I Hate Mondays” or ”Best Friends” (These just suck).
However, last night I got a FW message that really made me think:
Hello: Its Me Jesus. I will be handling your problems tonight. I will be in control.
Send to 15 people and receive the biggest blessing tonight.
*Pause for reflection*
Ok, Jesus. Just a few things:
- You don’t have to introduce yourself. I know who you are and I totally dig you.
- I wonder if my spam filter is working, because I don’t remember giving you my email address.
- If I promise to send this to 30 people can you get rid of FW emails? Thanks.